We approach once more the lair of the fabled "litigatory monster,”
In re Recticel Foam Corp.,
We recently traced the six-year procedural history of this gargantuan litigation,
see In re Nineteen Appeals Arising Out of the San Juan Dupont Plaza Hotel Fire Litig.,
The district court wrote a lengthy opinion that describes the mechanics of Phase III and we refer those who thirst for greater detail to that rescript.
See In re San Juan Dupont Plaza Hotel Fire Litig.,
At this juncture, forty-five cross-claimants threw in the towel. The remaining three, Holders Capital Corporation, Hotel Systems International, and Dupont Plaza Associates, were arguably made of sterner stuff. They appealed, hawking the theorem that defects in the hotel, apparent before the ustulation, gave rise to the liability upon which the settlements were based; and that, therefore, these payments reflect “property damage” of a kind covered under the insuring agreements of the policies underwritten by the pre-fire insurers. 2
We believe that appellants’ theorem is utterly without merit. To say that damages for bodily injury and wrongful death *38 are really “property damage” within the ambit of carefully written insurance policies, and then to argue that coverage attaches not when the harm-producing incident occurs but when alleged product defects first become visible, is to construct a pyramidal proposition more reminiscent of Lewis Carroll than of the lexicon of insurance law. 3 We cannot subscribe to so fanciful a reading of either the appellees’ policies or the applicable precedents. And, moreover, because we find the district court’s opinion on this point to be well-reasoned and clearly articulated, see id. at 643-48, we will be brief. Where, as here, a trial court has produced a first-rate work product, a reviewing tribunal should hesitate to wax longiloquence simply to hear its own words resonate. We therefore affirm the entry of summary judgment in this case substantially on the basis of the opinion below, embellishing our affirmance with a decurtate explanation of why two recently decided cases, not considered by the district court, fail to tip the scales in appellants’ favor.
Relying heavily on
Eljer Mfg., Inc. v. Liberty Mutual Ins. Co.,
We refuse to accord
Eljer
controlling weight for a myriad of reasons. In the first place, the
Eljer
court decided the coverage issue under Illinois law,
see id.
at 806, in part through the use of what it termed “first principles.”
Id.
at 812. To the extent that
Eljer
is good law in Illinois, a matter about which Judge Cudahy disagreed,
see id.
at 814-17 (Cudahy, J., dissenting), and upon which we do not opine, we have no occasion to transplant its holding to a case, like this one, which is governed by state law requiring a different result.
4
See, e.g., Albany Ins. Co. v. Compania de Desarrollo Comercial,
In the second place, insofar as
Eljer
purports to claim nationwide application, we decline the invitation, whether proffered by appellants or by the
Eljer
majority, to supplant a state’s body of contract law with “federal general common law.”
Erie R.R. Co. v. Tompkins,
In the third place, Eljer’s rule of law evolved in connection with, and was applied to, a markedly different factual situation. The inherently defective plumbing system at issue there was installed in hundreds of thousands of homes nationwide.
See Eljer,
Fourth, and finally, the property damage caused by the defective plumbing systems was just that — property damage,
e.g.,
claims for water damage to the victims' homes, diminution in property values, loss of use, costs of replacing the systems, etc.
See id.
at 807. Here, however, unlike in
Eiger,
the insureds’ expenditures were made to recompense personal injury and wrongful death claims rather than property damage claims. While it is true, in a metaphysical sense, that any expenditure of funds from a party’s estate can always be visualized as property damage, the term “property damage” as used in the appel-lees’ policies is a term of art.
5
We agree with the district court that the term is not ambiguous and, fairly read, triggers coverage only when damage
to property
occurs during the applicable policy period.
See In re Hotel Fire Litig.,
Appellants also cite
Chemstar, Inc. v. Liberty Mutual Ins. Co.,
Even assuming that California law supplies the rule of decision, see supra note 4, we disagree with appellants’ characterization of the sufficiency of the factual exposition before the district court. Chemstar makes clear that under California law “insurance policies are triggered when property damage actually occurs, rather than when some prior wrongful act is committed.” Id. at 1548. Indeed, the Chemstar court embarked upon a discussion of various trigger rules merely because it observed that, in latent defect cases, the “date when property damage occurs is often difficult to pinpoint.” Id.
In the case at bar, no such difficulty existed. The record makes manifest that none of the hotel’s property contained the type of latent defect that would have set the stage for a complex determination of the date damage occurred. Bearing in mind the illogic of the proposition that products fit for ordinary use can be deemed defective at all, we are unable to conceive of any evidentiary proffer that could alter the obvious trigger date — and appellants have not suggested, let alone documented, a viable scenario for such an alteration. Here, the damage indisputably occurred on the date of the fire, well after the expiration of the insurance policies underwritten by the appellees. Hence, coverage was triggered at a time when appellees were no longer on the risk.
We need go no further. The supposed defects that were apparent in the Dupont Plaza Hotel before the fire and which allegedly contributed to the victims’ injuries were not at all representative of the specie of “property damage” contemplated in the pre-fire insurers’ policies. Because this is so, and because no insured loss took place during the policy period(s), the district court did not §rr in granting the pre-fire insurers’ motion for brevis disposition.
Affirmed.
Notes
. The opinion below provides a complete list of the insurers in question.
See In re San Juan Dupont Plaza Hotel Fire Litig.,
. Appellants chose to limit their appeal to the "property damage” theory, eschewing further pursuit of other contentions they originally espoused in the district court. Hence, we confine our comments to the single issue advanced on appeal, mindful that "theories neither briefed nor argued on appeal are deemed to have been waived.”
United States v. Slade,
. One is reminded of Alice who, upon tumbling into the rabbit hole and finding the garden door locked, decided to solve her dilemma by eating a piece of cake. " ‘Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, ‘and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I’ll get into the garden, and I don’t care which happens!’ ” Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland 8-9 (Delacorte Press ed. 1966). Alice enjoyed her snack — but she remained the same size and the garden door remained inviolate. See id. at 9.
. The district court saw no need to make a choice of law as to whether the pre-fire insurers' policies were governed by Puerto Rico or California law.
See In re Hotel Fire Litig.,
. This term is precisely defined in most of the policies and is satisfactorily defined by the structure of the one policy that does not contain an explicit definition.
See In re Hotel Fire Litig.,
