Lead Opinion
In this dissolution of marriage action, the district court incorporated in its decree the stipulation of the parties that the petitioner-appellee husband, Scott D. Hickenbottom, have reasonable visitation with his former stepdaughter, a child born to the respondent-appellant wife, Judy L. Hickenbottom, on February 3, 1980, during an earlier marriage. The wife assigns the incorporation as error, asserting that she had rescinded the stipulation. We affirm.
The parties, who were married on May 18, 1984, produced two sons, one born on October 26, 1984, and the other on November 4, 1986. During the course of these proceedings, the parties executed a stipulation which made no provision for the younger boy, but gave thе wife care, custody, and control of the older boy notwithstanding the fact he had been living with the husband. The stipulation also granted the husband reasonable visitation with the wife’s daughter. At trial, the wife testified she
The record establishes that the husband had lived with his former stepdaughter since she was approximately 2 years old. According to him, the girl’s biological father had no contact with her and had paid nothing toward her maintenance. The husband testified that he, on the other hand, enjoyed a father-daughter relationship with her ever sincе she has been old enough to talk, saying that the girl “has been my daughter----”
The husband also testified that he participated in raising his former stepdaughter in many ways. He disciplined her when she needed it, helped take care of her, cooked her meals, put her to bed, and attended her school plays and parent-teacher conferences. According to the husband, “[tjhere was never reference to her as stepdaughter and she never referred to [him] as stepfather”; she calls him “daddy” and is known by his surname.
The husband further testified that he and his former stepdaughter have a mutual loving relationship and that they are quite attached to each other. The girl has been included in the husband’s prior visitations with the рarties’ two boys in activities wherein the four have participated together as a family.
The wife admitted that the three children had “done activities together” and that her daughter likes the husband, but would not go so far as to say the daughter was fond of him.
When asked why she objected to the husband having visitation with the girl, she replied:
First of all, it’s not his child. It’s just been me and [the daughter], we have our own life, he has his own life. I just want to get on with it. I don’t want him coming and going when he pleases, you know. She was already abandoned, left--1 wouldn’t say abandoned, but left by one father. I don’t need it by a second father. I won’t tolerate it from him. And his harassment, I won’t tolerate it.
She also said she objected to the husband’s “womanizing around, ” but this complaint is not elaborated upon.
We begin by observing that the wife is confused as to her right to rescind the stipulation she executed. As we recently reaffirmed, the parties to litigation are bound by stipulations voluntarily made and are granted relief therefrom only under exceptional circumstances. White v. Mertens, 225 Neb. 241,
However, the wife’s confusion in this regard is unimportant because, as she correctly argues, the parties in a proceeding to dissolve a marriage cannot control thе disposition of minor children by agreement. Hicks v. Hicks,
A stepfather is the husband of a child’s mother by virtue of a marriage subsequent to that of which the child is the offspring; thus, a husband who divorces the mother of such a child is no longer the child’s stepfather. Kogon v. Ulerick,
Pennsylvania was aрparently the first jurisdiction to examine the matter. In Spells v. Spells,
Clearly, a stepfather and his young stepchildren who live in a family environment may develop deep and lasting mutual bonds of affection. Courts must acknowledge the fact that a stepfather (or stepmother) may be the only parent that the child has truly known and loved during its minority. A stepparent may be as devoted and concerned about the welfare of a stepchild as a natural parent would be. Rejection of visitation privileges cannot bе grounded in the mere status as a stepparent.
The Spells court discussed the status of one who may “ ‘put himself in the situation of a lawful parent by assuming the obligations incident to the parental relationship without going through the formality of a legal adoption....’ ” Id. According to the court at
A stepfather who lives with his spouse and her natural children may assume the status “in loco parentis”. We may expect that a bond will develop between stepparent and stepchild; we, therefore, should protect that relationship by conferring rights of visitation. The departure of a stepfather from the home would no more destroy the love and affection between stepparent and child than it would in the case of a natural child.
In remanding the сause for a determination of the ex-stepfather’s relationship with his former stepchildren, the Spells court indicated that a relevant factor in the determination would be whether the ex-stepfather had stood in loco parentis to his stepchildren. See, also, Simpson v. Simpson,
Utah used the same approach in Gribble v. Gribble,
In Bryan v. Bryan,
In Carter v. Brodrick,
Oklahoma examined the issue of a former stepparent’s right to visitation in Looper v. McManus,
Visitation is not solely for the benefit of the adult visitor but is aimed at fulfilling what many conceive to be a vital, or at least a wholesome contribution to the child’s emotional well-being by permitting partial continuation of an earlier established close relationship.
Usually such an affiliation is with a natural parent. But it need not be. Those involved with domestic relations problems frequently see situations where one who is not a natural parent is thrust into a parent-figure role, and through superior and faithful performance produces a warm and deeply emotional attachment.
See, also, Honaker v. Burnside,
In Shoemaker v. Shoemaker,
In Collins v. Gilbreath,
When the judicial system becomes involved in family matters concerning relationships between parent and child, simplistic analysis and the strict application of absolute legal principles should be avoided. The mere protest of a parent who asserts that visitation by another person would somehow harm his or her child should not be enough to deny visitation in all cases. . . . This is especially true where the third party has cared for a child as his or her own.
Id. In reaching its decision the Collins court emphasized that the trial court had specifically noted that the ex-stepfather had cared for and loved the children as a father for 21/2 years. In addition, the court recognized that
[t]o abruptly end this close relationship and deny him the privilege of ever seeing the girls again would be unfair аnd traumatic to both [the former stepfather] and the three young girls. The children would in essence lose their second parent in ten days — one by suicide and one by court decree.
Id. The Collins court made clear its decision was not intended to
With that background, we turn our attention to our own statutes. Neb. Rev. Stat. § 42-311 (1943) formerly granted the district courts jurisdiction to determine custody as to the “minor children of the parties.” Today, the only statutory authority conferred on district courts to deal with children in dissolution actions is that contained in Neb. Rev. Stat. § 42-364 (Reissue 1988). Meyers v. Meyers,
When dissolution of a marriage or legal separation is decreed, the court may include such orders in relation to any minor children and their maintenance as shall be justified, including placing the minor children in the custody of... third parties.... Custody and visitation of minor children shall be determined on the basis of their best interests.
§ 42-364.
Farmer v. Farmer,
(1) In proceedings under sections 42-347 to 42-379, the court shall have jurisdiction to inquire into such matters,*590 make such investigations, and render such judgments and make such orders, both temporary and final, as are appropriate concerning the status of the marriage, the custody and support of minor children____
§ 42-351. We also cited Neb. Rev. Stat. § 42-377 (Reissue 1988), which deals with the legitimacy of children, and held that “[t]he above-quoted statutes give the District Court complete jurisdiction over the custody, support, and welfare of all minor children who are touched upon by the divorce proceedings and all related issues.”
In the absence of anything indicating to the contrary, statutory language is to be given its plain and ordinary meaning. When the words of a statute are plain, direct, and unambiguous, no interpretation is necessary or will be indulged to ascertain their meaning. State v. Matthews,
We therefore conclude the district court had jurisdiction to award the husband rights of visitation with his former stepdaughter. The remaining question is whether it was appropriate for the district court to so order under the circumstances of this case.
We begin this aspect of our review by recalling that in a dissolution of marriage action, determinations as to custody of and visitation with minor children are matters initially entrustеd to the discretion of the trial judge, whose determinations, on appeal, will be reviewed de novo on the record and affirmed in the absence of abuse of the trial judge’s discretion, keeping in mind, however, that the trial judge
It is also appropriate to recall that the best interests of the child are the primary and paramount considerations in determining visitation rights. Manewal v. Manewal,
Section 42-364(1) provides, in relevant part, that the factors involved in considering the best interests of the children include, but are not limited to, “(a) [t]he relationship of the children to each parent prior to the commencement of the action or any subsequent hearing [and] (c) [t]he general health, welfare, and social behavior of the children.”
In Gerber v. Gerber, 225 Neb. 611, 619,
the nature and extent of visitation rights on a case-by-case basis and may consider many factors and circumstances in each individual case, such аs age and health of the child; character of the noncustodial parent; the place where visitation rights will be exercised; frequency and duration of visits; the emotional relationship between the visiting parent and the child; the likely effect of visitation on the child; availability of the child for visitation; likelihood of disrupting an established lifestyle otherwise beneficial to the child; and, when appropriate, the wishes of the child.
In situations similar to those presented by the case before us, some courts have held that the determination of what is in the
In Austin v. Austin,
“A person standing in loco parentis to a child is one who has put himself in the situation of a lawful parent by assuming the obligations incident to the parental relation, without going through the formalities necessary to a legal adoption, and the rights, duties, and liabilities of such person are the same as those of the lawful parent. The assumption of the relation is a question of intention, which may be shown by the acts and declarations of the person alleged to stand in that relation.” 46 C. J., Parent and Child, § 174, p. 1334.
The record shows that the husband had established an in loco parentis status with the former stepdaughter. He lived with her for almost 8 years. They referred to each other as father and daughter; there was a close and loving relationship between them; he was involved in her day-to-day care, including any necessary discipline; and he took an activе interest in her education and other school activities.
The only reason the wife gives for objecting to the husband’s visitation is that the stepdaughter is “not his child. It’s just been me and [the daughter], we have our own life, he has his own life.” The fallacy in this position, however, is that once the wife
The record convinces us, as it did the district court, that the wife is more interested in punishing the husband by denying him access to her daughter than she is in doing what serves the girl’s best interests. The girl is not a piece of property; she is a living, breathing, and, as is any child, fragile person who is seemingly already distraught by the destruction of what she has known as her family. There is no need to further damage her by removing the emotional support of one who has cared for her during the marriage.
Accordingly, the judgment of the district court is affirmed.
Affirmed.
Concurrence Opinion
concurring in part, and in part dissenting.
Preliminarily, I agree with the majority’s analysis that visitation with a stepchild may be granted to a stepparent who established the status of in loco parentis with the child while married to the child’s natural parent.
Additional consideration of the in loco parentis doctrine requires that this cause be remanded to the trial court for further proceedings.
The term “in loco parentis” means in place of a parent, and a “person in loco parentis” is one who has assumed the status and obligations of a parent without formal adoption. Gribble v. Gribble,
As noted by the majority, the wife in this case allowed the stepfather visitation privileges with her natural daughter in return for her husband’s giving her custody of the elder son of the parties. Under that type of bartering system, who represented the best interests of the daughter? The trial court did appoint a lawyer as an attorney and guardian ad litem “for the minor children of these parties.” It is unclear from the record whether the lawyer was appointed as an attorney and guardian ad litem for only the parties’ two sons or for the appellee’s stepdaughter as well. Regardless of any guardian ad litem appointment, the parties should not have been permitted to barter either the rights of thе elder son of the parties or those of his half sister.
The result of the bartering was reduced to a stipulation which was signed not only by the parties, but also by the guardian ad litem appointed by the court. Each party testimonially admitted their son’s custody was granted to the mother conditioned upon the appellee’s obtaining visitation rights with his stepdaughter. The trial judge was of the opinion that he could not legally order visitation of the stepdaughter with the appellee. He stated, “I can do something else that effectively provides the same thing, which I’m going to do, and I’m going to adopt the stipulation that they entered into and order that both parties comply with it.” The trial judge then pointed out that if Mrs. Hickenbottоm chose not to grant Mr. Hickenbottom visitation with her daughter, Mrs. Hickenbottom could be held in contempt of court.
The bartering of custody and visitation rights shown in this record involves the lives and emotions of young children and is nothing short of outrageous. It should be discouraged by this court in the strongest of terms. As we have declared previously, “[cjhildren have the right to be treated as interested and affected persons and not as pawns or chattel of either or both parents.” Hibbard v. Hibbard,
Based upon the record, it is apparent that neither the lawyer
In the record, there is no indication that the about to be ex-stepfather is willing to continue completely his in loco parentis status. The appellee wants visitation privileges with his stepdaughter, but apparently wants to terminate any of the obligations attendant with an in loco parentis status. By dissolution of her mother and stepfather’s marriage, appellee’s stepdaughter is deprived of her stepfather’s obligation to support her. See Neb. Rev. Stat. §§ 28-705 and 28-706 (Reissue 1989). The appellee has made no provision for his stepdaughter’s support, nor did the trial court make any support provision from her stepfather for her. This may be an indication that the stepfather intended to terminate his loco parentis status. Obviously, by their bartering the visitation of one child against the custody of another, the principals in this dissolution proceeding acted in their own interests and gave scant consideration to the best interests of the mother’s daughter born of a previous marriage. These facts alone required the trial court to appoint a separate guardian ad litem for the girl.
In Gribble v. Gribble,
It may be that if a stepfather standing in the status of loco parentis is given the opportunity to seek visitation rights as a right afforded a natural parent, that he should not be permitted to escape the duties and obligations of the loco parentis status as long as that relationship remains intact. A hearing could determine not only the right to visitation, but could determine whether that right should be conditioned on a requirement that the stepfather accept an obligation to assist in the support of the child. This is not only consistent with the concept of loco parentis but may well be necessary to the child’s welfare. Loco parentis does not envision that a stepparent be permitted to enjoy the rights of a natural parent without also accepting the responsibilities that are incurred.
(Emphasis supplied.)
As stated in Klipstein v. Zalewski,
Visitation privileges of stepparents should not be granted lightly. As the Klipstein court declared:
There must be some limits on stepparent visitation rights because in our society it is not difficult to conceivе of a child having three, four or even more stepfathers and there are not enough days in a week for the child to have visitation with all of them. Frequently, there will be no satisfactory solution which will please everyone. Justice to both the stepfather and the child, which is the desired objective, can rarely be attained [in certain cases] because the interests of one can be satisfied in many cases only at the expense of the other. And if these competing interests cannot be reconciled, it is the rights of the stepfather which must fall.
230 N.J. Super, at 571,
Equally troubling in this case is the absence of the child’s
“ ‘ “Indispensable parties to a suit are those who not only have an interest in the subject matter of the controversy, but also have an interest of such a nature that a final decree cannot be made without affecting their interests, or leaving the controversy in such a condition that its final determination may be wholly inconsistent with equity and good conscience....” ’ ”
Koch v. Koch,
It is obvious that granting rights of visitation to a former stepparent may in some cases interfere with some rights of a biological parent who is not otherwise affected by the dissolution proceeding. For example, under some circumstances any rights of visitation granted the former stepparent might disrupt a natural parent’s established schedule of visitation. Thus, a stepparent seeking visitation rights with one about to become a former stepchild should be required to join as a party to the dissolution action the otherwise not affected biological parent of the child.
In this case it is conceivable that the biological father may have forfeited any rights he had as the natural parent of appellee’s stepdaughter. However, that is not a determination that can be made without giving appropriate notice to the biological father and an opportunity for him to be heard.
This case should be remanded to the trial court, where, after notice to the biological father of the minor child involved and the appointment of a separate guardian ad litem for the child, a determination should be made as to whether the appellee wishes to continue his status of loco parentis to his ex-stepdaughter not only by exercising the privilege of visitation, but also by assuming the obligations of that status. Should Mr. Hickenbottom desire to maintain his loco parentis status and should the trial court find that it is in the best interests of the child that the status of appellee as loco parentis be maintained, then the trial court should require the appellee to appropriately
